50 NEW THINGS ABOUT INDONESIA

Not long after I moved to Indonesia I had a blog post called 30 Things I Have Learned About Indonesia in (Nearly) 30 Days. Now that I've been here a year I'm making a new list of 50 things, but I'm breaking it up into four sections:

* 10 Things About Life in Indonesia

* 10 Things I Miss From Home

* 20 Funny Things My Students Say 

* 10 Reasons I Love Being an Expat

So... without further ado:

10 Things About Life in Indonesia

1. Everything is written in English, but nobody speaks English. Generalisations of course, but it seems that most flyers, posters, advertisements, brochures, menus, directories, and a lot of other things are written entirely in English. However, few people speak English fluently and a lot don't speak any English at all. You ask, "Where can I find cleaning supplies?" at the big-box store and you get a funny look and/or embarrassed giggle and the employee invariably goes off to find the one English-speaking colleague on shift at the moment.

2. Indonesians are really friendly. People seem very good-natured here and don't hesitate to give you warm smile and help you out. As I wrote above, people don't always speak English but they almost always go and find someone who does if you have a question you want answered. People frequently lend you a hand and middle-aged women who have only seen white people on television will call you beautiful and make you take a picture with their five-year-old daughter if you bump into them on the train or are walking through their neighborhood. The worst is that men sometimes leer at you but even so, it's more obnoxious than predatory. 

3. Perhaps to help deal with aforementioned men-leering-at-you problem, most trains and buses have a "women-only" section in front. It probably also has to do with standards of modesty in this Muslim country. At first I thought it was kind of weird, but now I really like it. Sometimes women stare at you too, but its mostly in the "Hey, you're different," sort of way I mentioned above, and even so, women seem to be a lot more polite than men. Women generally look out for each other more, I think, and won't make a big deal out of fact that you're "bule."

4. Never expect efficiency. I'm mostly a go-with-the-flow sort of person, so this one doesn't bother me as it might some others, but it can still be frustrating. At school for example, if you need something from the upstairs supply room and the one person who has a key to the room is absent that day, no one else in the admin office or cleaning staff seems able to open the room or find a solution to get it open. Nope, you'll just have to wait until So-And-So is back. And when something isn't available, it's always promised to be available "tomorrow." Indonesians hate to disappoint, so they will just tell you "tomorrow" every single day (even if it ends up being weeks) because, apparently, it sounds better than just telling you, "I don't know when it will be available, but I'll let you know when it is." Ha! You'd never hear that. 

5. The smell of raw sewage mixed with the fragrances of pollution and stale canal water is known, formally among Bina Bangsa expats anyway, as "Jakarta Fresh." It's a very distinct smell. When I first moved here, the smells were new and sometimes vague, but now I can identify a breeze of Jakarta Fresh leaking up the street in an instant. Generally if I'm walking with someone, we turn to each other at the same moment and say, "Whew! That is some Jakarta Fresh right there!"

6. Continuing my thought from #5, Indonesia > Jakarta. Jakarta just kind of sucks... Sorry to say. There are some very nice restaurants and bars and dance clubs, and as many malls as your heart could desire, but it's lacking in almost everything else. There are one or two nice museums and some cool historical buildings in the old part of town. Even so, Jakarta is mostly an overwhelming sprawling mass of concrete, with skyscrapers and malls punctuating a sea of little lean-to villages and three-story business blocks. And, it smells so lovely too. And then there's the perpetual blanket of smog that lies over the city. But the rest of Indonesia is much nicer, fresher, greener, and enjoyable. Whenever I meet people trekking in Asia I tell them to definitely skip Jakarta and head straight for Yogyakarta, which is also in Java, but so much nicer.

7. A little package wrapped in banana leaves = lunch! (Or dinner, or breakfast...) Banana leaves are the original brown paper lunch bag. If you're travelling and someone is giving you lunch on the go, it will probably be a banana leaf wrap with rice, chicken, half a hard-boiled egg, and a few vegetables inside. 

8. Burping in public is totally fine. Well, you can't exactly burp anywhere you please, but it is much more acceptable. People really don't think much of it. It's like blowing your nose I guess. If you blow your nose really loudly, it can sound kind of gross, but people don't mind too much or make a big deal of it. Same with burping here. When I've gone for a massage before, sometimes the masseuse will burp almost constantly. Which personally I find disturbing, but the reason is that they are supposedly releasing gas trapped in your tissue when they massage you, and then they burp to give the gas an exit to the world.

9. People rarely suspect I'm American. This was also true in Europe (at least on the Continent - maybe the Brits knew where I was from) but here people just don't guess you're American because North America is so dang far away, few North Americans make it here for any length of time. People more often guess my friends and I are English, Australian, or Dutch. One time, I had a guy believing we were from Moscow for at least a solid minute or two.

10. You can guess fairly accurately what a bule does by where he/she lives. ("Bule," again, is the Indonesian term for white person. It literally means "faded.") We who are faded in West Jakarta are more of the working class expats, mostly teachers and pilots. There are a lot of pilots in the buildings where I live. Mostly young European guys who can't get work at home so they fly for the Asian budget lines. The bules who live in South and South-Central Jakarta are the richer ones. The ones who own their own businesses and work for governments and stuff like that.

10 Things I Miss From Home

1. My family and friends. Well, duh. Goes without saying. I'll see you in December!

2. Fresh, raw vegetables. Can't complain too much, because I can buy fresh veggies from both the supermarket and the local market, but fresh vegetables are almost never served with meals in run-of-the-mill Indonesian restaurants (besides the typical two slices of cucumber and one slice of tomato which seem required.) I also can't complain because I can go to Western-style restaurants to get salads, but still there seems to be a lack of fresh fruit and vegetables served with meals. Usually it's just starch and meat. A lot of starch and meat.

3. Clean air. It's just not that good here. Go outside of Jakarta and you can breath freely and deeply but here inside our lovely, sprawling metropolis of millions, the air is always a little hazy. : (

4. The seasons. You know, all four. Not just rainy and not-rainy. Once in a while when it rains it can actually be cool - mid 70s or so - and then I can actually put on jeans and feel cozy and I like that. But otherwise it's warm everyday and the sun rises and sets at the same time everyday.

5. Nice, quiet, peaceful 4:30 AMs. Normally, I have always considered myself a religiously tolerant person, but lately the cacophonous 4:30 AM call to prayers has really been testing me. Our new apartment overlooks a stretch of kampung and it seems there is a mosque every hundred yards or so. I don't really know how many are out there but they all start about 4:30 and it's no lovely sound. They use very loud, fuzzy bullhorns and amplifiers and compete with each other for sheer volume. It's not melodious Middle Eastern motifs either. At one mosque they have given the job to a kid who must be about 10 - he definitely hasn't reached puberty yet - and he doesn't know many good melodies so he just belts out a repetitive sing-song tune that sounds like a playground chant. Anyway, I wouldn't even mind it at 4:30 if it stopped after a minute, but it goes on until 4:50. Every day! Truly, I have no complaints about living in a Muslim country - except for 4:30 AM call to prayers that go on for 20 minutes.

6. No smoking areas. Even indoors at restaurants you aren't guaranteed clean air! Everyone smokes like chimneys (what do you expect when the cheapest cigarettes are less than $1 a pack) and there is no such thing as a smoking area. Whole restaurants are smoking areas.

7. The open road. Traffic is terrible! I don't miss driving for myself so much, but I don't enjoy being stuck in traffic jams.

8. Free, drinkable water at restaurants. It's such a joy to get to Singapore and enjoy a complimentary glass of tap water! I have to buy a drink every time I go out to eat more or less. Drinks can cost as much as a meal - about 3 or 4 dollars sometimes.

9. Quick check-out lines at the grocery store. You need to schedule at least 15-20 minutes to get through the check-out at the grocery store. First of all, the Indonesian check out clerks are in no rush whatsoever. They go so slowly, just because. Second, there aren't two conveyor belts, like there often are at the big grocery stores in the States. Instead there's just one short conveyor belt, and when the guy or gal is done ringing up your groceries, they will also bag them for you. So that can be a long wait, waiting for everyone in front of you with their 100 packages of instant noodles and their 50 bars of soap and 10 bags of frying oil and sambal, to have everything rung up and bagged by someone who isn't too bothered with quick service in the first place.

10. Cheese. Not much good cheese here. I can get Laughing Cow, Babybel, and a few others, but otherwise the quality isn't as good, and it's not as abundant or cheap. I miss cheese! Most of the best dairy is imported from New Zealand or Australia. (I also miss Cheez-Its; I haven't found them or any decent substitute yet.)



20 Funny Things My Students Say

This list was supposed to be only 10 things, but there were just too many I wanted to share. (Disclaimer: I don't speak Indonesian hardly at all. My vocab is pretty limited to, "Good morning," "How are you?" "How much is it?" "Thank you," "You're welcome," "Fried noodles, please," "Turn left here," "Wait!" and "What?" So if it seems like I'm poking fun... well, I am a little, but I don't want to be hypocritical. I know my Indonesian is less than perfect. In fact, it's less than conversational, and I'm sure I sound rather ridiculous to the locals.)

1. "So cheating, lah!" This one is perhaps my favourite. "So cheating," is their way of saying "unfair!" and "lah!" is an emphasiser picked up from Singaporean English. Just stick "lah!" on the end of anything to add extra oomph. 

2. A variation on this is "So bad!" which you use to show your disgust with something, but more in a lighthearted way. For example, "Sorry, we don't have time to play a game." "So bad, Miss!"

3. "She always minds my business!" Translation: She always butts into my life when I don't want her to. It's exactly the opposite of minding your own business.

4. "So how?" Translation: So now what should I do? It's one of those awkward direct translations from an Indonesian phrase. It might be used in this context: "Miss, I don't have my markers to colour the poster. So, how?" 

5. "Have...?" Translation: Is there any...? Will there be...? Could be used like this: Students aren't allowed in the Teacher's Room, but a student might be hanging around outside, wanting to talk to Ms. Lynsey. To ask if Ms. Lynsey is there, the student might say, "Have Ms. Lynsey?" (Or, alternatively, "Is there Ms. Lynsey?") Or you could ask about what's on your upcoming test: "Have past tense?" Or what's available for lunch: "Have french fries?"

6. "For a while..." Translation = For some undetermined amount of time. You might hear, "Miss, I go toilet for a while?" "Miss, I borrow scissors for a while?" 

7. That's another one I heard quite frequently: "I borrow, yeah?" 

8. "Last time..." Translation = Some undetermined time in the past. Possible usage: "Last time, I had a hamster, but it died." "Last time, my family went to Bali." "Last time, we play catch in the courtyard."

9. Lest you misunderstand me, "catch" is not a game of throwing a ball back and forth, it's tag. There's no such thing as "tag;" instead, you play "catching." It's not "He's chasing me," but, "He's catching me."

10. Along the same lines, you don't search for something, you "find" it: "I'm finding my little sister, so we can go home."

11. "Photo" as a verb. If a students asks "Can I photo you?" say, during a field trip, I usually reply, "No, but you may take a picture of me." And if they tell me, "I photoed her!" I will say, "Oh, you took a picture of her?" I'm constantly repeating things back with the correct grammar. I don't know if the kids notice. They probably think I'm just crazy and never understand anything they say the first time.

12. "Ever..." THIS ONE DRIVES ME NUTS! It's a direct translation from Bahasa Indonesia that just doesn't work in English, but it's difficult to explain that to a student because we do have the word "ever" in English, but not in the way the kids here use it. They might say something like, "I ever go to Disneyland Hong Kong," for "I once went to Disneyland Hong Kong." 

13. They also say "already," a lot. Lots of Indonesians do. In Indonesian you say "sudah," which means "already," but it just floats by itself, so they do the same thing with already. "Have you eaten?" "Already miss." Or, "Have you finished page 50?" "Already, lah!"

14. "Can?" Translation = Is it possible? Will that work? Might be used like this: "I need to make photocopy. Can?" 

15. Conversely, you use "can't" if it's not possible. If something is just too difficult, and you are ready to throw up your hands and thrown in the towel, you exclaim, "Cannot, Miss!" (Or, "Cannot, Sir!" if you are whining to a male teacher.)

16. "Must to..." Translation = It is necessary to; You have to (there isn't really a good translation in English; in French I guess you would say "il faut.") Possible usage: "Must to sign permission slip before you can go." Or, "Must to go home! I have lessons! Miiissss! I cannot stay! My mom will be angry to me!" Hey, I think I just found #17.

17. "So-And-So very angry to me." It's never angry with me, but angry to me. I hear parents say it too, so it's no wonder the kids do too. "My boy very lazy, you know. But when I angry to him, he still don't want to do his homework." (Again, I'm not trying to make fun of anyone so much as I'm just imitating what I actually hear people say. The parents at the school mostly speak English - which is nice because I can't speak Indonesian - but it's not always a polished version of English. And again, these are generalisations of what I hear some people say.)

18. "Running-running," "Shouting-shouting," Translation = Hmm... Hard to translate this one actually. In Indonesian you pluralise something by saying the thing twice. For example, book is "buku," but books is "buku-buku," and I think that's where this comes from. I hear kids using it to empahise something. If I walk into the classroom and the kids were messing around and Student A wants to tattle on Student B, he might say, "Miss, he was running-running and shouting-shouting!" Maybe it means they were running and shouting a lot. I don't really know.

19. General misuse of prepositions. I hear things like, "Spread the jam to the toast," and "I was born at June." It doesn't change the meaning too much, just sounds odd.

20. "Thingy-thingy." Translation = whatchamacallit. You know, a thing whose name you can't remember. A thingy-thingy! Possible example: "Miss! Can't find the thing-thingy!" 

10 Reasons I Love Being an Expat

1. I get to explore new parts of the world, sometimes as a tourist, sometimes as a resident. I know this one seems obvious. I mean, that's sort of why I decided to try international teaching in the first place: to experience life overseas and see a new part of the world close up. But I guess it is my number one reason for being an expat. I suppose it wouldn't be unfair to call it a lifestyle choice. I'm not so attached to my home country that I need to live my entire life there, even if I do suspect I will eventually settle down there. (Probably...) I like trying to live in new places! 

2. Improving my geography. I can actually find Malaysia on a map now and even show you where Singapore is, even though it's probably too small to show up on its own. Also, Myanmar is west of Thailand and the Mekong River runs through a lot of different countries.

3. Getting new stamps in my passport. I admit it, I love collecting new stamps for the countries I visit. If you exit through immigration, you can really say you've been to a place. Like how I was in Hong Kong for only 12 hours, but, I have a stamp to prove I left immigration! (And it has Chinese characters on it!) Most of my stamps are from Indonesia right now.

4. Making new friends and connections. I have made a few Indonesian friends, but I have also met people when travelling and met other expats around. I have met people from Malaysia, Singapore, Philippines, Taiwan, China, Russia, Netherlands, Italy, and South Africa. It's easy to stay in contact with people if you want to. It's fun to chat with people from different places and find out what you have in common or what is different. And, not surprisingly, the people who are willing to engage you are generally very friendly.

5. Learning the art of travelling. It is an art, something you get better at the more you do it. Mostly I think travelling involves common sense and balance. Do exciting things, but don't be dangerous and wear yourself out. Try new foods, but don't eat anything that looks like it's been siting out all day. Push yourself, but not too much. Be safe. It's okay to reach out and make friends with other travelers but you don't want to trust everyone you meet. I mean, obviously. Mostly common sense, but still, I do think you get better at it the more you do it. The more airports you visit, the more customs people you have to smile at, the more hostels you stay in, the more you learn how it all works and how to get the most out of your travel.

6. Meeting and hanging out with other expats. One of my favourite parts of living the expat-life. It started with meeting my parents' friends who had taught with them in Kuwait. Former expats, I guess. When I lived in Belgium for student teaching, that really confirmed in my mind that expats are really cool people and that I wanted to be one and hang around with them. Expats always seem to have interesting stories of places they have lived and visited. Many of them are perpetually on the move, relocating every few years. Others have been in their adopted countries for years on end. With expats you can joke about the funny things about living abroad and swap stories and feel like you have something in common, even if you come from, or live in, different countries. Sometimes, I will admit, it feels weird to chat about travel and life abroad with people who aren't expats because you can come across as pretentious. It think this is because it costs money to travel and you seem to bragging about how you have the means to travel. But when you are in the company of other people who share your life, it's easy to talk and joke and share stories.

7. Having two homes. Minnesota is still my home home, and it's the place I feel most rooted to, but sometimes I also refer to my apartment in Jakarta as my home. It's nice to have a place of your own, with your own kitchen, and couch, and bed and your own pictures on the walls. This is my home now, and it comes with all the mundane details like having a security deposit, paying utilities, taking my laundry down to the laundromat, stocking up on groceries, and of course, going to work. That doesn't stop me from every once in a while looking around and saying to myself, "Wait a minute. Now just how did I end up here again?"

8. Showing people around my new country. Like, say, my parents! It's difficult to get a lot of visitors from North America here, but once in a while one shows up. Nicole and I both had our families visit this June, and Kristina has a close friend visiting in August. If anyone else wants to come visit me, I'm happy to plan a trip! It was great to show my parents around Indonesia. Half of our trip was things I've already done which were cool enough to warrant doing a second time, and the other half was new for me.

9. Learning a new language. As I've mentioned above, my Indonesian isn't very comprehensive or polished, but I probably know more words than I realize. I mostly have a tool-box of crude vocabulary that I can make use of. But it's fun nevertheless to be able to communicate with people who don't speak English. Even better if you can communicate successfully!

10. Travel opportunities! Plane tickets to Asia are sooo expensive; I would never be able to travel as I do if I did not live here. With a handful of week-long term breaks and three day weekends scattered throughout the school year, I have been able to see quite a few different regions and countries, and I will keep on doing that this year. Why in the world wouldn't I? Right now I'm contemplating Vietnam as my next holiday spot for term break.



I realize it's a long list, but I hope you've enjoyed a few insights into my life one year on in Indonesia. As always, I've got more things to blog about and hopefully lots more adventures coming up. As to my family and friends, I miss you! One year away from home is a long stretch, but I will be back in December. But we can stay in touch in the meantime.